#9 TEACHING OUR CHILDREN to have Respect for Age and Authority
Teaching or training children to have respect for age and authority is very important because the subject covers such a broad field—parents, grandparents and older people, teachers, policemen, church elders, government officials, and God. The Bible reminds us that such teaching is a valuable life lesson for the child:
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
If we can get it right when the child is young, then better and more responsible adults will result.
Suggestions:
1.The major method of teaching our children to respect age and authority is by our personal example. If the parent does not constantly exhibit respect, the child will follow the example set before him or her and reject authority. So, the first question is ‘what is my, the parent’s, attitude toward authority?’ If I’m constantly critical of grandparents and old people, school teachers and policemen, the government, and church elders, I will promote similar poor behavior in my children.
Therefore, by our example we can teach respect for age and authority—the basis for the proper attitude for your child when he or she becomes an adult.
- The Apostle Paul combines two lessons in Ephesians 6:1-3: Obedience and honor. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother.”
As we teach children to obey, we also lovingly teach them to honor us. For example, we teach and show the child that an object is hot to the touch. At some time when we aren’t watching, the child will touch something and experience the heat. Then the child will develop honor for the parent because the parent is shown to be right. We can couple lessons on consequences with teaching on what will happen if the child will not obey.
The Apostle Paul also taught the right attitude toward the aged in 1 Timothy 5:1-4:
“Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, …older women as mothers… Honor widows who are truly widows.”
In this same passage the apostle continues by giving an example that we can follow:
“But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.”
Our children watch how we treat our parents—those who walk slow, see poorly, and have trouble hearing. Then, as we treat old people with care they learn to also treat the elderly with care.
- The Apostle also combines two lessons on respect and obedience in Colossians 3:20: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
In these verses Paul stresses that how we teach a child to respect authority has an important effect on the child. If I do it in such a way as to provoke or cause the child mental anguish, then the child will be discouraged and seek to avoid his or her bad feelings rather than learn the lesson. Lessons on authority must always be coupled with love for the child that the child can feel and see.
- As the child grows, contact with grandparents and older people increases. Respect for those older is very important.
The Apostle covers this aspect of life in Romans 13:7 “Pay to all what is owed to them: … respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”
This verse covers elderly people especially. We show our children how this is carried out when we treat parents and grandparents with both honor and respect. We walk slowly because they walk slowly. We speak loudly when they are hard of hearing. And we listen when they talk. In this way we teach respect and honor.
- Obeying and respecting the teachers in school, the government of the land, and the church elders must come as the child gets older:
The Apostle taught this concept in Romans 13:1-3: “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad.”
Peter explains the attitude of humility that should surround the example that we set before our children: 1 Peter 5:5 “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
We teach this attitude as we react to policemen, the government, and the IRS. Children know how we feel as they hear how we talk and act.
- The most important thing we need to teach the child is to be subject to God. The writer of the Hebrew letter paralleled this subjection as to how our children treat us.
Hebrews 12:9 “Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.
We must teach the child to respect discipline for the child to love and respect God. If the child has no respect for the discipline we teach, then it is almost impossible to teach the child to respect God.
Again and again as we teach respect for age and authority, we can remember the above quote from Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Thus, we are truly changing the future life of the child in this way.
Passages that can be cited and read to the child during the daily Bible reading time: Ephesians 6:1-3; 1 Timothy 5:1-4; Colossians 3:20; Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 5:5; Hebrews 12:9 (Each family is encouraged to have a daily Bible reading or story time.)
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